So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
