do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
