he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
