i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
