I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
