I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
