...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
