Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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