Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
