You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
