Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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