Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
