You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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