We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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