shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
