i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize