I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
