My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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