what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
