I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
