You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
