its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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