this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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