I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You need a sexual gate keeper
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
