I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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