Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
