tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
