Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
