I skipped work to stalk him.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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