you would pick up someone in the library
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
