There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
