I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
