i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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