Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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