If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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