did you get engaged???
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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