This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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