Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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