I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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