oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
