if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
