I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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