Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
