The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
