Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
