I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
