I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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