so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
