Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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