saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Terrible idea I love it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
