The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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