so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
