At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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