Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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