We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
