I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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