i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
