sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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