ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
