he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
