i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
