bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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