Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
