What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
