it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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