so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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