Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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